The other
morning, i was doing my normal routine of coffee and the paper, still
not quite fully functional (had only gotten through the first half of
the pot), when a couple of words from one of the inside page headlines
made me do a double take. Wait a minute that didn't really say....? Oh
wow, it does!
There,
in large bold print, was the headline "Report assesses modern slavery".
My first
reaction was disappointment in not being among the slaves that had apparently
been questioned about the conditions of their existence. It might have
been fun to get interviewed by some government bureaucrat in his standard
conservative blue suit. Imagine the fun if he also happened to be a conservative
person belonging to some right wing Christian group. Could have been a
good time feeding him all the stereotypical bull associated with life
as a slave.
i can hear
the conversation now:
Oh yes
sir, i am just a sex slave, here for sole purpose of being used by my
Master at His whim for whatever He desires. Where does He keep me? Master
keeps me locked up, naked, in a dog cage down in His basement feeding
me His table scraps if there are any. When He wants to, He will grab
me by my balls, pull me out of the cage and either take me into His
dungeon, where He puts me through all kinds physical tortures for His
amusement, or throw me into the sling using my mouth and ass for His
sexual pleasure. When He's finally finished with me, He'll clean me
off with a golden shower and throw me back in my cage. What's a golden
shower? Oh, that's what it's called when someone washes you off by pissing
on you.
Hey wait! Come back! Don't run off yet! i didn't get to tell you about
how He sometimes rents me out for sex down at the truck stop or.....
Bet i made
his day. Wait till he gets home and tells the wife about this one!
i can just
imagine what idiotic regulations or controls whichever mindless, government
agency conducting this assessment might come up with. Real scary! Imagine
what might happen if OSHA was directed to come up with some workplace,
or in this case dungeonplace, safety standards for the use of slaves,
that all Masters would be held liable for?
I regret
to inform you ... is that Master or Mister? Master? Okay then, i regret
to inform you Master Jones that your slave is only rated for a twenty
pound flogger and I see here that your using a twenty five. I'm afraid
were going to have to fine you for that. If that's not been corrected
by the next time one of our inspectors drops by, we might not only fine
you, but possibly suspend your Master's license for up to six months
as well.
I also
found that the lighting in your dungeon is not bright enough to allow
your slave the required visibility level during play. And, although
I cannot prove you have used it, the blindfold hanging in your equipment
cabinet, is clearly a violation. Your slave must be permitted proper
sight capability of what you are doing to him at all times.
But Mr.
Inspector, my slave enjoys it more when he's blindfolded.
Too bad!
The regulations clearly state the level of lighting and amount of visibility
that must be maintained in any dungeon space. We don't care what he
enjoys. It is our job to ensure that these regulations are meet. Now,
I also noticed the presence of a great deal of candles. Far more than
regulations allow.
But they
help create the mood we like when we are playing
Don't
care about that either. The regulations clearly state, only two, six-inch
pillar candles are permitted within any ten-foot area of the dungeon.
You clearly have more than five or six times that amount. They must
be removed immediately. I will only give you a warning for that this
time instead of a fine. But if we find it again...
Yeah,
I know, you can suspend my Master's license you ignorant son of a...
Careful
Master Jones. The use of curse words or derogatory language of any kind,
directed at an OSHA inspector, is punishable by a five thousand dollar
fine and a minimum of twenty-five whacks with a wooden paddle. Administered
of course, within the OSHA guidelines for paddle width and weight, whack
force, and whack interval frequency.
Along
with the infractions that I have already pointed out to you Master Jones,
I found quite a long list of other minor infractions that we expect
you to correct before we come back for a follow-up inspection. However,
since these regulations are fairly new, as we have only been regulating
and inspecting dungeons since the government report assessing modern
slavery was released, about three months ago, I am only going to issue
you the one fine for the overweight flogger this time. Just make sure
you get all of these other matters taken care of or you may find you're....
Yeah,
yeah, I know. I may find my Master's license, which you so kindly brought
the application forms for me today, suspended for a minimum of six months.
That would
be six months for each infraction Master Jones.
Say what?
This is getting ridiculous!!
Now, now,
Master Jones. You know, it is the government's obligation to its citizens,
to ensure that they have safe and sanitary working, or in this case
servicing, conditions. And even though you have many years experience
in what it is you do here, and feel that, depending on the interpretation,
our restrictions could possibly limit you and your slave from playing
as hard in some of the SM arenas as you currently do, or possibly like
to do at some point in the future, we feel it is essential, that the
maximum allowable limits that we establish, be such, that they would
protect someone who is brand new to this type of activity from being
injured. We take that responsibility very seriously.
Too seriously
if you ask me.
Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, but it doesn't really matter what
you think now does it, Master Jones?
Good day
Master Jones, and oh, by the way, here is your free set of the five
books containing all two hundred and fifty five thousand enforceable
regulations, as well as the set of five books, containing the close
to one hundred and seventy five guidelines, which we feel are necessary
to ensure everyone's safety. They will probably become regulations over
the next couple years.
I'm sure
that you will find these books very helpful as you totally redesign
your dungeon space in order to comply with all of our standards. As
I said, this set is free. Future editions for any revisions of the existing
regulations or additions of new ones, we expect will probably run about
$1000 per set. That's just to cover the cost of printing.
Maybe
if you cut out a few thousand of these stupid regulations, they wouldn't
be so damned thick and cost so much to print.
Very amusing
Master Jones. By the way, please inform your slave that he was personally
responsible for the breakdown suffered by our interviewer, Mr. Williams,
who talked with him as part of the assessment of the slavery issue a
few months back. Seems the poor man was so traumatized by what your
slave told him in regards to his living conditions, that he was babbling
incoherently about having been to the devil's breading grounds, or something
like that, and had to be given an extended medical leave of absence.
I'll be
sure to reward the boy; I mean punish the boy, for that. Good-bye, inspector.
As my mind
wandered back into reality and i actually read the article, i was relieved
that it had nothing to do with us at all. It was actually about a CIA
report on the estimated 50,000 immigrant women and children, who are brought
into the United States each year from Asia, Latin America and Eastern
Europe, for the purpose of forced work as prostitutes, servants, or laborers
in abusive, sweatshop style businesses. A deplorable situation that defies
control, due to the extensive difficulties law enforcement agencies face
when investigating and prosecuting such cases.
It is an
extremely sad situation that such practices still exists and that there
seems to be no real solution or available means to prevent it. It's even
sadder to realize that there are people out there with such little regard
for the lives of others. Everyday, we read or hear about brutal murders,
rapes and any number of other types of violent actions, randomly directed
at whoever happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time, that
day.
Sitting
at home, feeling safe and secure, protected by the walls of the rooms
and the locks on the doors, it's easy to ignore the realities of the outside
world. We can't control the extent of the dangers hidden within society
in general. But we can control those within our lifestyle communities.
Be careful in selecting whom you play with and where you play. When arranging
to meet a play partner of the first time, make the meeting place somewhere
public. Get to know them before going somewhere private to play. Let someone
else know where you are going, the name of the person you are with, and
arrange to call them periodically during the time your going to be with
this person, to let them know you are alright
Be smart.
Play safe.
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