The Government Steps In On Unsafe Submissives
Author: Donald Rogers © 1999
Whenever possible, permission to use a joke is gained from the author.
As with anything the Government gets involved in, we have to be careful here.
While I understand the original concept was to recall "unsafe" subs and fix the safety issue, it has since grown in proportion to the number of politicians involved.
The California Congressmen now want to make them enviromentially friendly and have asked for a conversion device to reduce the amount of gasses expelled. They are also asking for subs to meet a 200 stroke per mile minimum.
The Utah Congressmen have asked that if a Dom has more then one sub, a safety warning be permently placed on the subs indicating they could be hazardous to the health of the Dom.
Arizona New Mexico and Texas Congressmen have asked for two things. An import quota on subs into thier states to protect the jobs of the subs already there (dancer and raven et al) and also wants to have them permanently marked to make sure proof of ownership can be provided for tax purposes.
Michigan Congressmen want a quota on the import of foreign subs to protect American markets.
The IRS wants to tax Doms with subs under some sort of entertainment tax.
The FDA is looking into the potential health hazards of owning a sub, citing an increase in heart attacks and repetative stress injuries.
The Secret Service, as part of the US Treasury, is looking into the counterfitting of subs and may want to redesign them to include holographic seals of authenticity.
The Department of Energy is looking into solar powered subs to reduce American dependance on fossil subs.
The Deparment of Defense is looking into a potenital sub gap between the US and third world countires, claiming that we are behind in this vital area of National Defense. They are seeking 22 billion dollars for research and development in this area.
The Department of Education is asking for 10 billion
dollars to increase public awareness of
subs and cites a recently uncovered 1845 study
which says that American subs are less educated in the
The State Department is looking into the possibility of recognizing SubNation as a foreign country so they could receive foregin aid monies.
Vice President Gore is talking about putting subs on the endangered species list.
President Clinton is looking into the possibilitiy of owning a couple so he won't have to depend on interns. There is negociations with Hillary ongoing to see if she gets her own or they have to share.
The US Supreme Court is trying to decide if it will hear a California case concerning the issue of is a sub considered community property in a divorce.
Microsoft lobbists are trying to get a bill passed that all subs have to come with a copy of Windows 98 and a new microsoft sub browser installed.
So you see, while the orignal concept was good on the face of it, it has snowballed.
Don (in exceptional rare form today trying to handle
other problems and needing the comic relief)