Author: Jersey Girl © 2001
SubDrop/TopDrop Why it happens
After the release of chemicals in your body that make ya feel oh so good..just like in a drug addict....or an athlete... coming down can be almost physically painful. Add to that common human mental health issues, and we have a recipe for TsDrop Soup (Top or sub Drop Soup). This phenomenon can manifest itself after a scene or after a relationship, after a weekend spent with all your kinky friends at BR99, or for no obvious reason at all. When we have to come out of our scene space and reenter the real world, back to the kids and the job and the spouse and the dishes and life in the fast/slow lane, we may experience an emotional let down of sorts.
What It Feels Like
manifest itself in many physical and emotional ways; anxiety attacks,
feelings of loss, indescribable sadness, crying for no apparent reason,
lethargy, insomnia, total panic, extreme emotional numbness, rage, dizzy
spells, irrational fears, manic energy, the desire to isolate, the thought
of leaving the scene, or the partner....feelings of self
Some of the work of aftercare can be started before the scene/event even starts.
yourself mentally for what is about to happen;
where your head space is today;
Do you have expectations that are realistic?
your aftercare effectively.
Make sure you have support set up for when you get home.
is preparing yourself physically for the scene/event.
I believe it is everyone's individual responsibility as a player in the scene and a member of this community to protect themselves and care for themselves properly, and to make sure play partners are in good condition after we are done with them. To me the scene isnt over till sufficient aftercare has been given.
There are lots of techniques to aftercare that work for partners:
Hydrate, feed if appropriate, wrap in a blanket, cuddle, massage, whisper, talk, sing to, make eye contact, console, wipe tears, smile, stroke hair, take to a quiet place, nap, share feelings, bathe, keep warm, encourage, express gratitude.
Some people spend the minutes after a scene to review it and share their feelings on it. Some people need to just relax and save the intellectualizing for later.
Plan on having quiet time and nap time when you get home or are alone.
Eat something healthy and comforting but don't binge.....a bowl of ice cream is great......a half gallon is not.
Set up a support system and phone calls for yourself when you get home...isolation is not the same as solitude.
Check in with your partner if possible.
Take a hot bath with epson salts and light candles.
Did I say nap? Remember napping is not the same as sleeping all day.
Do some aromatherapy; lavender, rosemary, bergamot, and sandalwood are very soothing fragrances.
Nurture yourself; get a massage, manicure, pedicure, facial.
If your Top is not available to nurture you after a scene then find someone who is.
Go shopping but don't overspend.
Doodle, read, listen to music.
Stay away from the news.....and unhappy people.
If you find yourself still depressed or still experiencing TsDrop symptoms a week after a scene....don't panic....it's normal....just know it's going to pass....and keep taking care of yourself.
If you find yourself sinking into a depression repeatedly after scenes or in general and nothing seems to work to pull you out of it, consider changing your lifestyle and/or seeking the help of a professional.