Coming out and telling others about your fetish is an issue that most fetishists have to deal with at some point of their life. But the fear of being weird and being rejected often keep people from coming out. There are many that are hiding in their closets throughout their whole lives and never tell a soul. But the fact is - if you got a fetish, you got it for good, and it’s not likely to disappear or go away.
I tried to put my fetish away and forget all about it. I threw all my fetish items out and tried to think about different things, but my fetish kept coming back to haunt my fantasies and dreams.
It took me over fifteen years to realize the obvious; my fetish is a part of who I am and that I was not alone! There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a fetish. Lots of people have them. So why not get the most out of it and share your passion with the person you love?
How to tell
A good place to start is to talk to likeminded people. Look for communities, discussions boards, articles, and chat rooms related to your fetish. See if there are others that have coming out experiences and get some ideas. Talk to some of the regulars. Search for hints and ideas. Soon you will have a much better idea of the origin of your fetish and your self-esteem will grow.
Timing is another key factor. Only tell about your fetish if your relationship is healthy and functioning well. Don't introduce your fetish if there exist problems in your relationship. Ask yourself this: is this really what I want and to what lengths do I want to go to get it?
It’s my experience that the goal is to attach some feelings or senses to the object. So if you, like me, had a fetish for latex, explanations like this may work:
Touch: "When you are wearing tight latex over your skin it works like a sensitivity multiplier. Imagine if you are running a finger down a latex covered body part, the touch would be amplified by the elasticity of the latex fabric".
Smell: "Latex is a natural product, made from the sap of rubber trees. Some types of latex (often the more expensive ones) have a pleasant smell of vanilla".
Feel: "Latex is like a second layer of skin. It hugs you very tightly and gets the same temperature of your skin. It's warm to touch and make you very sensitive to temperature changes".
Sight: "When you polish Latex it becomes very shiny and the color becomes deep and sensual. It almost looks like the body has been painted. The contrast between highlight and shadow is very high and the curves of the body are empathized. So naturally this works as a powerful visual stimulant".
Take it easy
If you get rejection
or your partner becomes upset, back off and give your partner some room
and bring the subject up another time. Just try, try, and try again. The
way I see it is very simple. Everybody just wants to be loved for who
and what they are! So come out whoever you are!