I Left With The Police Today: katsilks

I Left With The Police Today

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I left with the police today

Away from him, my Master J

The trail has been long and hard and cold

He doesn't want to let me go.

He told me he would make me pay

If I left him and went away

He spewed all the threats he felt

thinking I was fearing, but I never knelt

He uses me still for his own sadistic pleasure

Never allowing me to have my possessions

or take any leisure

or find repose in a new life without him

and for true, he makes my life quite grim.

I take what solace I can in this new place

Without leather on my skin or fire in my face

I ache for relief that subspace spins

I cry for reliving all that seems dim.

My soul wants to run and hide with him for one night

But that is not the answer to reclaiming my life.

I wish it were. I've done it before.

And each time I get further into the revolving door.

I want a guide to take me through this channel

I want direction and solace

But can I handle another relationship again?

Overwhelmed believing I can and can't.

Don't kid yourself. Abuse does exist

In even the people you meet on these lists.

More than you realize

More than you know

While secrecy and internet masks make many fall and go.