The teenage years are difficult at best to get though. Make every effort to keep the communication lines open with your children. Talk about dating violence and date rape. Let her know that you are there for her no matter what. And mean it! Girls are often terrified to tell their parents about date rape or violence. The abuser can manipulate this fear and set your child against you.

Hopefully you have already talked to your teen about drugs and alcohol. And hopefully you have made a pact with them to call you if they are under the influence and too impaired to drive. Some girls are raped/abused because they have been drinking and/or have taken drugs and are afraid to call home for help. Afraid of getting caught and punished. Teens need to know that even though you do not approve of alcohol and/or drug usage that you realize they can make errors in judgment and you will be there for them.

Your teen may have also just been in the wrong place at the wrong time and peer pressure being as strong as it is makes them hesitant to call you because they don’t want to get others in trouble. Letting your child know that they can count on you for responding to go get them with out making any scene is important. Trust goes both ways.

Your child’s safety is paramount. Lectures are best reserved when both you and your child’s heads are level and clear. Children learn what they live. Set a good example with sensible alcohol consumption and staying drug free.

The teen years are often troubled ones in even the best homes. Teens can get depressed and withdrawn over things other than abuse. This is why communicating with your child is important. If you DO suspect she may being mistreated, don’t take the offensive pointing out what you think is wrong with the relationship. Taking such a stand can put up a wall and drive her to defend him.

DO talk to your teen about what love is and isn’t. Love is not a feeling. It is an action. 1 Corinthians in the Bible beautifully explains what loving behaviors are.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5
4Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-centered, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Not mentioning the boyfriend, talk about certain negative behaviors and ask her if they are loving. Gently encourage her to talk. Remember that she may have been threatened with harm to herself or others she holds dear if she tells anyone. If you have reason to believe that such a threat is genuine, the police need to be notified and legal intervention taken. Laws vary with municipality as does the enforcement of such orders.

Note: If you feel your child is being abused, seek professional counseling. Nothing on this page should be considered a substitute for counseling.

If you feel your child is in an abusive relationship, get help now!
You can take the first step by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) (TDD 1-800-787-3224) or go to http://www.ndvh.org.